Someone said,if you are pessimistic about your life,
thus your life is pessimitic.
Hence I endeavored to make myself optimistic ,will-strong.
However difficulty I met in my life,I still insisted on never giving up and never giving in.
I always believed all the problems could be solved successfully,they quickly passed away from you.
However, I seemed to be too naive at that time,
after all so-called difficulty I met before is not difficulty at all,
untill now I am cognizant of this clearly.
When doctor told me my dad had got cancer,
I could not stand well any longer.I heard the sound that my heart was broken and my will was beaten heavily.
I made every effort to look for good means in order to survive his life.
However hard I did,all the people around me told me to give it up,
that was impossible to defeat.I was in extremely deep sorrow alone and lonely ,
couldnot breathe any more.
I wept and sobbed sitting in the corner far away from crowd alone and helplessly.
That was really difficult to overcome.
However at the same time I concealed the fact to my dad and took better care of him than before
and made him happy to release him from ache untill he passed away.
Dad is my pain in my life,thereform I lose my optimistizm and colourful day.
All have changed,sky is not blue but grey,life is not strong but weak,God is not merciful but cruel 。
All is unfair to us ,I am not happy but sad.
How much I miss him so so much.
Some friends asked me what I lack of ,she could help me,
I shook my head,I only lack a real and true father ,
nobody can help me.I can only look at him in his photos.
Dad,wake up,you just left me for some time,
that is enough,don't joke me ,
It is time for you to wake up and go home.
Don't fall asleep forever,dad.We need you.
Can you hear me?My happiness can be given by you,Dad,I love you.
I am sorry to write here,
I thought I only wrote my spirit calmly,but I fail.